Men’s Mental Health
As men, our willingness to openly discuss mental health has certainly improved. However, we still need to be mindful of how we can continue to help ourselves and others around us. I have struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder for much of my adult life, and I now realize the value of open and honest dialogue. I genuinely believe that the next step in the conversation surrounding mental wellness is the open exchange of ideas, tactics, and solutions. Through personal trial and error, professional help, or guidance from people we trust, many of us have found routines that help us through inevitable downtimes. I believe that it is now our responsibility to "pay it forward" and try to share these tactics in the hopes that we can save someone else unnecessary pain and struggle. Here are a few strategies that have been very beneficial in my life!
Journaling and writing have always been fantastic outlets for me. Putting pen to paper brings me a sense of calm and clarity. This result is especially beneficial when my thoughts become so chaotic that I can’t differentiate real issues from my manufactured worries and anxieties. By writing down negative or troubling thoughts, I can take a good hard look at them and see if they are worth my time and energy. Usually, they aren't!
Additionally, combining journaling with a simple exercise in gratitude is particularly beneficial to me. Each time I reach for my journal, I write down three things I am grateful for that day. It helps me take stock of my life's value and joy, even in my darkest days. I try to make them specific and detailed. With all this said, I want to clarify that journaling can be as structured and regular or casual and random as you like. In high-stress times, I find myself writing daily, sometimes twice daily. In other seasons of my life, it may take a backseat. It's all okay!
I am also a big believer in a personal creed or motto. Simple sayings give me purpose and focus. If my thoughts are out of control or my days seem overwhelming, looking back to my mottos helps center me. I have found two that I love: "Be the good person that your children think you are," and "The truest measure of a human is how they treat the people who society views as being beneath them." That is, treat everyone with kindness, respect, and empathy. Do I fail to live up to these sayings? Absolutely. But I can always return to them and draw the strength and motivation I need to refocus myself. I encourage you to find a quote or saying that speaks to you personally. I often write it down or keep it somewhere special to give it a glance when needed.
Lastly, being mindful and present in the moment is so essential to my mental wellness. It is so easy to get lost on the internet, in social media, or our own obsessive thoughts. This often leads us to miss the beauty and happiness right in front of us. Taking notice of the sun's brightness on my children as they play calms me more than I could possibly put into words. Realizing the greenness of the grass they are playing in is a special feeling for me. It may sound cheesy, but mindfulness brings me peace. Focus on trying to actually be with the people or things that you care about. Don't just be physically present, but also mentally present. Give the meaningful things in your life your undivided attention.
So many of us are willing to commit to a routine promoting physical health. We run, we work out, we play sports. Why should mental health be any different? Commit to a mental wellness routine, and then share what works for you with friends, family, or anyone needing help. Talking about mental health and mental struggles can be very liberating. Moreover, you never know who you may be helping along the way. It's a win-win!
Thanks for your time,
Mark Borowiecki
Mark Borowiecki is veteran of the NHL, having played 10+ years as a defenseman for both the Ottawa Senators and the Nashville Predators. He is a father of three and is an outspoken advocate for mental health awareness.
In June 2021, he opened up publicly about his struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how he is working with his mental health challenges to raise awareness for others. Since then, he has worked with the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre and facilitated sessions around Men’s mental health. He takes pride in being a down-to-earth, open, and honest role model for not only young athletes and men, but anyone who may need support in times of mental health challenges. Mark has written a blog post for Y@Home+ discussing mental health awareness and self-care strategies for men, based on his own experience and what has been helpful for him.